Magical Metformin

I’ve been taking Metformin per my doctor’s suggestion. Basically, my insulin level was 51 when a normal high would be 19. That was a fasting insulin level even. So he prescribed me Metformin and I’ve been taking it for a week tomorrow. I’m not even kidding when I say this stuff is a God-send. He has me taking it slowly, so I’m on 500 mg for now. Tomorrow, since my side effects are weaning, I’m going to try to up my dose to 1,000 mg. Since I’ve been on this stuff I’ve had SO much energy. I don’t feel like I’m tired all of the time. I don’t need a nap every couple of hours. I don’t need a buttload of caffeine. It’s amazing really. Then, the biggest surprise to me is how muchΒ weight I’ve lost. In the last week alone, I’ve lost about 10-12 lbs. I think it’s because my body isn’t processing the sugar and it goes straight out of me instead of storing in my fat!! It’s amazing.

I tried Metformin a few years ago, but the doctor gave me such a high dose at first. He had me starting at 1,500 mg when I should’ve been building up to it, like my current doctor told me to do. Ultimately, I need to get up to 1,500 mg and since I’m not diabetic (yet), the doctor thinks I can get on Metformin, lose weight, and let my body correct itself (because I’m not breaking down insulin properly). He thinks I’ll be able to avoid diabetes and treat my PCOS. It would be awesome to say the least.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to cure PCOS, but all I can say is I am so appreciative to have my daughter. With three miscarriages under my belt, and PCOS infertility issues, she truly is a miracle. I should never have had her. My body should’ve never been able to keep her. But I did. I prayed every day that she was okay and God answered my prayers. I didn’t have any issues during pregnancy and she is pretty perfect if I do say so myself. I want her to know how loved she is and I tell her about 30 times every day! She is my gift from God and I will never let her down. <3

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

Elli’s latest love is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Actually, she REALLY loves Donald Duck! I think it’s so cool because I can talk like Donald so when I do it, it makes her laugh so much! We had her four month check up last Tuesday. She’s a whopping 16 lbs and 8 oz and 25 inches long. She’s almost double her size at birth. The doctor is VERY happy with her progress and says she’s a very healthy baby and he’s very happy with her! I’m so blessed. Honestly.

On Tuesday, after her appointment, I had a follow up with my OBGYN because I had asked him to test me for PCOS. Turns out I do have it and he even told me my levels. He said, “It’s actually the highest I have ever seen.” I laughed and said no way and he said, “yes way. We have to get it under control.” So, I have been prescribed Metformin to help with my apparent insulin resistance. I am also trying to watch my sugar intake. Maybe I will lose weight, too.

Anyway, my insulin level being as high as it is is just further proof of how much of a miracle my Elli belly is. She’s perfect in every way. My pregnancy was practically textbook perfect. God really wanted her to be mine and I am SO appreciative and humbled that He picked me to be her mommy.

Body changes and other things I’m annoyed about.

It’s obvious, when you have a baby things are GOING to change. I just wasn’t prepared for the aftermath of pregnancy. I really enjoyed seeing my body grow. The growing was sometimes painful, but it meant there was a life growing in there! So I put up with because, well, dem’s da breaks.

After the baby, my belly fat stayed, but now it hangs lower so I have a true FUPA :'( Steve says it doesn’t look bad and that I look taller, but it makes me crazy. I’m always trying to find clothes to hide it! Then, my boobs. OH MY GOD THE BOOBS. I knew they were big before. I was even ready for them to get bigger while breastfeeding. However, since I’ve stopped breastfeeding, they haven’t gone away. They’re still huge, but without milk. So I’m trying to find clothes big enough for my gut and small enough for my chest!!!

Maybe it’s just me, maybe I just need to get over it, maybe I’m just insecure.. whatever. I’m just kind of realizing all of these changes and it’s overwhelming.

In other news, the baby and I got sick over last weekend because someone decided to go to a birthday party sick. I ALWAYS catch something at birthday parties, so I’m thinking about not attending some for a while until Elli is older. Luckily, I had some breast milk saved in the freezer so as soon as she started appearing sick, I gave her a few bottles of breast milk. She got over it pretty quickly, whereas I am still suffering. Swollen, red tonsils, stuffed AND runny nose (wtf?), headache, and nausea (because I get so congested and mucousy that it literally makes my tummy upset.) But she’s happy as a clam and that’s okay. I’ll suffer on and take care of her like always. I’m happy she’s not really sick anymore.

Then, she’s been teething for about a month now. I think her teeth are going to break any day now and I’m so excited. I’ve read that the first sets are the hardest on baby. I’m ready for her not to be hurting anymore!! She’s so uncomfortable sometimes. πŸ™ I’ve also been giving her some baby cereal and she’s been REALLY excited about it. Yesterday she ate about 5-6 little bites and FOUR BIG bites!!! Like the entire spoon in her mouth big bites!!! It was so cute because she also gives munching action sounds! HAHAA. My kid. <3

Anyway, how are you doing? How’s the summer treating you? Have you dealt with sickness like that at parties? Am I overreacting? I don’t wanna be one of THOSE moms, but I’m telling you I’m just worried out of my mind!!! TOODLES!!

Four months!

I have been a mommy for four months now and I have learned a LOT about myself and about the man I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with. I am so very proud of my baby. She’s bright and funny. She’s goofy and strong. She’s resilient and confident. She’s everything I think Steve and I wish to be. She’s so inspiring. I hope that we can keep her thriving.

In other news, I was put on leave back in November’ish last year and haven’t been working until Memorial day. As a result, I’m playing catch up with my bills and trying to find a balance between my bills, pay, and affording the things I need to take care of Elli. One of the things that I’m having a hard time deciding whether or not I should continue paying for is web hosting. I’m really down about this, ya’ll. I’ve had my own website on my own servers since I was 14 and now I’m just not able to afford it! The bottom line is that Elli needs to eat more than I need a website. I’m looking into hosting somewhere. I’m going to continue registering my site because I don’t want to lose the name and it’s not as high of a price as buying the whole shebang. If you know of a good host that will host domains, put a comment below!

Sorry to put the sad stuff at the end. I know you don’t wanna see me go!!! πŸ˜› <3 Love ya lots!

I’m Zoloft Happy

So I’ve been taking Zoloft in smaller doses than what I was prescribed and my body is slowly acclimating. I’m not ashamed in saying I need help. I have postpartum depression and some days I just want to sleep the day away, but don’t because Eleanor needs me.

I told my doctor at my visit last month that I need help because I’m so sad. He asked me a few questions to ensure the safety of me and Elli. I don’t want to hurt her or anything but that was one of his main concerns. Understandably after the Andrea Yates thing. Anyway, so he prescribed Zoloft and gave me a referral to a psychiatric place that specializes in postpartum depression. I’ve yet to set up an appointment because I figured once I get the drugs in my system and once I start this new job (as a cake decorator, btw), I would be happier.

Well, I hate my job. I’m alone a lot. I’m expected to clean up after other people. I don’t make any money for what I do. I’m in the lowest pay scale for the national average. I’m just annoyed. Then, I thought to myself that I probably really don’t like this job because it means leaving Eleanor. All day I think that I can’t wait to leave to get to her. So I literally watch the clock to make sure that I leave on time. It’s so silly.

I’ve been feeling the fog lift though with Zoloft. So that’s exciting. I was telling Steve that I think the fog is lifting and now I’m having an issue with myself because I kind of feel like I’ve been taking my baby for granted and that she deserves better. So I’ve been trying to be more active with her and attentive. I want her to KNOW that I love her with every ounce of my being because she is MY LIFE. The Zoloft is more or less taking the edge off of my insecurities and anxieties and that’s priceless. Truly.

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