I’m Mrs. Brightside

I have been thinking long and hard about some things happening in my real world. I hate having to make decisions. I hate having to be strong when I feel so incredibly weak. I hate that I let people have so much power over me. I have been wanting to blog about a lot of things from my relationship woes to my family drama. I want to talk about everything because it’s festering inside of me — bottled up tight.

I don’t know who I am anymore and it scares me. I used to be somewhat happy and in control of my life. Now, I have this little person counting on me and I can’t even decide on what to wear every day. This doubt and fear of failing is crippling and I just want to let everything out.

I know that I cannot tell all of my secrets and issues in one post because it will probably come flowing out like diarrhea (and, yes, I went there!) Though I may not be able to let everything out all at once, I might start letting a little slip out here and there just to vent a little. In the meantime, I’m trying to work things out in my head and in my heart.

Huge shoutout to my friends for being so understanding and supportive! Dusty, you are just such a wonderful friend that I don’t know how crazy I’d be without xD Sammy, you are my sister from another mister. I love you so much!!! You girls are the reason I’m still the teensiest bit sane and I am SO thankful for you both!!!!

9 comments

  1. Todd says:

    Hey, Angelica! I followed your blog years ago, and just stumbled upon it again! I’m happy to see you’re still kicking! I’m going to continue following if that’s okay!

    In regards to this entry: It takes great strength and sense of self to even put your feelings into words like this, so don’t cut yourself short! You’re feeling perfectly normal feelings, and you should write about them if that helps you.

    Anyway, I wish you the best!

    • mm
      Angelica says:

      Of COURSE you can keep following! That is so exciting. Not many people keep up with me lol.

      I totally feel like blogging helps me release some stuff, but people have a tendency to use what I write or feel against me. So lame.

      Come back again soon! I hope you don’t mind that I will be linking you on my links page πŸ™‚ Thanks again for stopping by! I feel super rad now <3

  2. Kassy (@up) says:

    I am sorry to hear that it is really difficult for you at the moment. I truly hope that you will be able to find a way to manage. I am so glad to hear that you have supportive friends! πŸ™‚

    • mm
      Angelica says:

      Actually, through some magnificent stroke of luck, I know a great deal of good people who are always willing to lend an ear or a hand! It will all turn out okay, Kassy <3 Pieces will fall where they may.

  3. joleneisjojo says:

    If you need someone to talk to you, you can email me. I have been going through some of the same things you are going through but I don’t really like to talk about them via my blog – just because I don’t know who is reading.

    • mm
      Angelica says:

      Ohhh yes. I understand that completely!!! I was actually about to blog again, but am having doubts because I will sound ridiculously vague if I sort of post what is swirling around in my brain noodles. You should add me on Facebook! We can chat sometime and maybe help each other through some stuff. Life has a way of working itself out — one way or another. Like I tell my daughter when it’s time to change her stinky butt, “we can do this the easy way OR the hard way” which includes me pinning down her limbs with my legs. lol :3 Chat soon!!

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