I have been thinking long and hard about some things happening in my real world. I hate having to make decisions. I hate having to be strong when I feel so incredibly weak. I hate that I let people have so much power over me. I have been wanting to blog about a lot of things from my relationship woes to my family drama. I want to talk about everything because it’s festering inside of me — bottled up tight.
I don’t know who I am anymore and it scares me. I used to be somewhat happy and in control of my life. Now, I have this little person counting on me and I can’t even decide on what to wear every day. This doubt and fear of failing is crippling and I just want to let everything out.
I know that I cannot tell all of my secrets and issues in one post because it will probably come flowing out like diarrhea (and, yes, I went there!) Though I may not be able to let everything out all at once, I might start letting a little slip out here and there just to vent a little. In the meantime, I’m trying to work things out in my head and in my heart.
Huge shoutout to my friends for being so understanding and supportive! Dusty, you are just such a wonderful friend that I don’t know how crazy I’d be without xD Sammy, you are my sister from another mister. I love you so much!!! You girls are the reason I’m still the teensiest bit sane and I am SO thankful for you both!!!!